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J u l e s   A s n e r

I don't remember exactly how or where but I met Jules Asner and Steve Kmetko, hosts of cable entertainment show E! News Daily (http://www.eonline.com/).

Did I mention this was in a dream? This was in a dream.

Anyway, we went to a big 70's-style car (May have been an El Dorado) and I became their tagalong pal.

Steve, with his puffed-up blonde hair, thin-rimmed glasses, and oatmeal cable-knit sweater and blue jeans, was the driver. Jules, with her shoulder-length dark hair, pale skin, and short black dress, took the front passenger seat. I sat in the back.

We stopped at a Home Depot (http://www.homedepot.com/). I think it was a Home Depot. The point is it was a home-improvement store. Apparently Steve wanted something there. Jules and I waited in the car.

Steve came back--empty-handed, I think. We left and went to another home-improvement store, in a crowded shopping center. We all got out of the car this time. There was an ugly brown/gray/maroon, rusted-out, sunk-to-the-ground car next to us. A seedy-looking guy got out of that car. He was skinny, with heavy stubble, half-closed eyes, just two yellow teeth (spread apart), and his skin looked oily and shiny. He was wearing pants barely hanging off his hips and an opened button shirt over a soiled white t-shirt. Steve and Jules said hello to the guy and he said hello right back. The guy had something in his car that Jules was interested in seeing (I'm not sure what). The guy said he'd show her when he got back. He went into the store. I guess Steve went in too. I don't know where he disappeared to.

Jules and I were left alone in the parking lot, amongst all the cars. We talked a little and then Jules said she wanted to go take a look in that guy's car. So we went over.

We were on the passenger's side, peering through the dirt-flecked window (It was rolled partway down). Jules said she wanted to get that thing she wanted to see (I still didn't know what it was). I told her I didn't think it was a good idea but she wouldn't listen. Before I knew it, she was inside that car and I was there with her. We were sitting on the frontseat. She had whatever she wanted (I think it was a book). I told her to put it back and for us to just get out of there but she wasn't hearing any of it. Then suddenly the seedy guy was in the car with us and he grabbed Jules. I made it outside the car but I didn't run. I stayed and watched them through the window (which was now rolled completely down). Jules was able to break free of the guy and I tried to pull her through the window but the guy grabbed her again and pulled her back in. Suddenly she was wearing only a red-and-white polka-dot top and white satin underwear. The guy was about to rape her. I held onto her and did not let go. I finally managed to pull her free.

Next thing I knew I had her propped against Steve's ugly car--against one of the tires. I had wrapped a dark blanket (or jacket) over her shoulders. I hugged her and gave her a kiss on her forehead. She was half out of it. Perhaps in shock. I pulled back and when I looked at her again she had turned into...Katie Holmes. She blinked, half-smiled at me, and I felt love(d).

-- W i l l

Copyright © August 2001 W i l l