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H o u s e   L e v e l l e r s

Have I told you they've been levelling our house? Who's they, I don't know, just some house levellers--guys in dark pants and dirty white t-shirts. I don't know whose idea it was to call the house levellers (The landlord's, I guess). Sure, our floors have been slanting but how cool it was to roll something all the way down the hall and then to have it roll all the way back to you!

Which sounds longer, four weeks or a month? Whichever, it seems like they've been here a @#$%ing eternity! They've been arriving at 7a.m. in the morning (Redundant, I know--a.m., morning) and not leaving until about 7p.m. at night (More redundancy--p.m., night). It's crazy. They bang and they bang. They saw and they saw. They mix and they mix. And they...well, whatever it is they do with a jackhammer (Jack? No, that's something else...) It sounds like a major construction site and it's only three guys. How the hell can three guys make so much noise?

You wouldn't believe it. Imagine trying to sleep or read or watch TV or listen to music or, God forbid, THINK with so much constant noise all the time (Yeah, yeah, I'm on a redundancy kick). It's been madness. Madness, I tell you. Like I'm not crazy enough? But I digress.

The worst of it is: I'm no expert, especially not when it comes to house levelling, but it looks like our house is bowing (If you don't know what that is, imagine if the bottom of your house looked like it were making a smile). The middle is curving. I'm not sure cedar logs are the best thing to try to support a house on, especially not ones that have been rained on several times the past couple of weeks. I hope to hell these guys know what they're doing...

-- W i l l

Copyright © May 2001 W i l l