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" O s a m a n "

Today, on my way home from the college, I ran into Danny at the bus stop. He's half-Filipino, half-Mexican and talks with a bit of a speech impediment. He started right in talking about Osama Bin Laden, saying something like: "They-they-they they're bombing Osaman and-and... And. But you can't-can't just get Osaman because it's the idy-all-oh-gee. You have to change their idy-all-oh-gee."

I said the problem, I've heard, is that a lot of people in Afghanistan can't read. That's why Osama has been able to tell them anything he wants. They can't read so they're not familiar with other (different) ideologies.

"Then-then we-we teach them to read." I said, yeah, drop them some books. "See spot run," I said. Danny seemed to think this was the funniest thing in the world. He laughed--and it was an unusual laugh: loud, almost snorting mixed with high tea-kettle wheezes. Fine enough while we were outdoors, I suppose. But...

The bus came and we got on. We continued our convo. Danny continued to laugh. I said forget bombing, if they REALLY wanted to get Bin Laden they should drop Victoria's Secret catalogs over there!

Danny: Playboys!
Me: God Bless America t-shirts!

Osama would probably have a heart attack then, boy. This went on a while, back and forth. With each thing we said, Danny got louder and louder with his weird laughing. I think he lost it. People were looking at us.

Then Danny said: "They-they should chop Osama's wang off and turn him into a girl and drop him back in Afghanistan. That would be so-o funny! Huh-huh. Huh-huh. HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He snorted and snorted. Snot was coming out his nose. Oh dear lord. I resigned myself to not say any more so Danny could calm himself down. I think he finally did. But: Just before I exited the bus Danny said ow, his cheeks hurt.

-- W i l l

Copyright © October 2001 W i l l